by Therese Heckenkamp
Once
upon a time (but May 1999, to be exact), Past Suspicion was merely a
vague idea simmering in my mind, an idea about a young woman who entangles
herself in a deceitful situation that could spell her doom.
May 13, the idea
simmered over. I put pen to paper and
released a torrent of recollections by Robin Finley, a teen burdened by a
terrible past. She dominated the story from
the beginning, demanding that it be told in her voice. While many things about the story changed
through the long revision process, one thing remained constant: Robin tells her story, the way she wants to
tell it.
I wrote the first
draft over the summer, finishing September 1, the day before I began college at
the University of Wisconsin Waukesha. I
can honestly say I “lived” my story that summer. Many events and details from real life worked their way into the
story, such as a Memorial Day parade, a graveyard visit, thunderstorms and
power outages, and even some things as tame as baking and gardening. Whatever I experienced, I wondered how it
might color the story and texturize the plot.
Wherever I went,
the story was with me -- if not physically in my hands, at least in my mind. The manuscript traveled with me around home
so I could write in the comfort of my living room, outside in the sun, or in
bed. I even took it on vacation,
writing in the car, in the north woods, and by the lake. (Don’t
tell my dad that those pen marks on the car seat are from me!)
Ideas kept me
awake at night, and I would jump out of bed to jot down notes. (It was quite a puzzle trying to decipher
the scrawl the next morning!) The night
I wrote the climax, I don’t know how I finally tore myself away from the action
to go to bed.
Interestingly, Past
Suspicion began as a short story, but grew with possibilities, twisting and
turning in directions that were as surprising to me as I hope they are for
readers. I simply wrote the kind of
story I wanted to read.
Enjoyable as the
writing was, it was work, too. Thinking
and imagining and translating ideas onto paper to remain true to your vision,
yet in a manner others can relate to, takes time and effort. (Take a peek
into my diary where I comment on the writing process.)
During my college
years, I returned to the manuscript when time permitted (which wasn’t as often
as I’d have liked), to try to perfect and prepare it for submitting to
publishers. During an honors class in
creative writing, I received helpful input from my writing professor, Dr.
Margaret Rozga, as well as another student.
Of course, my
sisters, being the target “young adult” age, were an ideal reading audience to
try the story out on. They pointed out
weaknesses in the original manuscript which I, with my all too familiar eye,
just couldn’t see after so many readings.
I will always
marvel at the process of how a writer dreams up a story, takes it and
ultimately shapes it into something unique that others want to read. Even now I keep the Trapper folder
containing the original loose-leaf manuscript pages and messy notes that
eventually became Past Suspicion.
It’s a testament to hard work and now, with publication, a dream come
true. The battered folder is split to
bursting -- as I’m sure my head would have, if I hadn’t released the story by
writing!
“You see things that are and say, ‘Why?’
But I dream things that never were and say, ‘Why not?’”
–- George Bernard Shaw